Who I Am, Part 1

When I posted in September, after my dissertation proposal, I looked ahead to the internship application process that was about to come. I said "In all of it, I will truly understand who I have become and what I want out of my career." A month and a half later, I can say that I accomplished what I expected, at least to a large degree. It was enough that I want to take a few days of writing to analyze and talk about what I have learned and who I feel I am at this stage in my life.

Today, because I need to focus on work, I am going to share something I have already written. This is the autobiography I wrote for my application, in 500 words or less. I therefore focused on how I have transformed into a school psychologist and where I see my career going. It was a chance to really think about how ended up where I am, and sets the stage for everything else I will share over the next few posts.

Schools have always been my comfort place. Ever since I can remember, walking into a classroom and being surrounded by books, bulletin boards, and blackboards has filled me with a sense of excitement and warmth. As a child, I took in knowledge and excelled in academics. School wasn't just where I learned- it was where I defined myself. From Young Astronauts in elementary school to math competitions in junior high to Academic Decathlon and Odyssey of the Mind in high school, the activities that I loved the most kept me at school well past the last bell. Some children play sports, while others engage in the arts. I was one of those children that thrived on learning, and everything related to it.

Despite my love of schools and learning, I became a teacher by accident. I had looked into the health professions first, then chose to pursue my love of language and culture, and was on this path when I spent a day in my mother's classroom. I found that I connected with children, and remembered how much I loved school. As I spent more time in the classroom that summer, I felt that I had found a way to make a difference in lives while sharing my love for learning with others. When I returned to school that fall I was an education major.

I spent six years as a classroom teacher. There were amazing highs as my students learned new material, gained confidence, and accomplished their goals in the classroom and beyond. Unfortunately, I also struggled with the reality that many of my students weren't being given the best chance for success. My fifth year of teaching "John" entered my third grade classroom with diagnoses of a learning disability and a speech impairment. I quickly realized that he showed symptoms of autism, but the school had not chosen to focus his services in this area even though many of us disagreed with this decision. My experiences with John and other students led me to realize that there were policies in schools that were often detrimental to student success. I decided to enter a profession where I could have more of an impact on schools, and applied to school psychology programs the next year.

Since I entered graduate school, my passions for helping students succeed have grown. A decisive moment occurred when my university started a prevention science program, and I had the opportunity to be among the first to earn the certificate. My work in prevention science strengthened my interest in taking a positive, proactive approach to helping children and schools. I also learned about program development, and conducted a program evaluation for a school district. In my school practica I have chosen secondary settings, so that I can effectively help students at all levels of education. Ultimately, my goal is to help all students succeed at school, and love it the way I always have. I want school to be their comfort place too.

Hi blog. I missed you.

My last post was about a month ago. I am sad about this. Not for my audience, so much, though I'm sure you've missed hearing my semi-weekly life commentary (or not, especially if you hear me in person). I just expected more out of my blogging. I also knew, though, that my life can take a beating at certain times during the school year. Still, two posts all semester is beyond what I expected, and I hope to change that now that things are a little settled. Since I talked myself out of doing NaNoWriMo (look it up- it's really cool, and I want to try it next year), maybe I'll do a blogging month instead.

So, where have I been? Well, after the proposal, I quickly moved onto internship applications. For those of us in school, clinical, and counseling psychology, the road to internship is complex. We start by applying, which I have been working on for the last month. Applying means counting up every hour you have worked face-to-face with clients (in my case, children, teachers, and parents), as well as hours in supervision with professors talking about my clients. It also means documenting every test I've administered, and how many times; the ethnicities, genders, and disabilities of every client; and the estimated hours of time I've spent writing reports and notes, calling parents, and doing prep work. I also had to write four essays about who I am, what I do, and what I want to be when I grow up. I had to ask people who really like me to write letters of recommendation, and get transcripts sent. Finally, for each site I have to write a cover letter explaining why I am a good fit for their internship. This keeps a person very busy, especially when there is a regular schedule of duties to follow. Of course, anyone who knows me realizes that my schedule is never regular- I took on an extra project that spiraled into a significant amount of work (as well as lots of kindergarten tears, but I won't go there today). In a semester where I kept saying no because I do too much, I still am doing too much. So I have had a long, crazy October.

The good news is that two applications are submitted and nine more should be out shortly. After this, I sit and wait until I am selected (or not selected) for interviews, which take place in January. While I am anticipating the break, I am a control freak who hates the thought of being judged and not being able to make any changes to the application. I just want the answers now. I will try to distract myself with my dissertation (remember that thing?) and counting down until a much needed Thanksgiving with family that I don't get to see nearly enough.

October was rough. There was a lot of pressure, stress, and work. I just kept telling myself that I had to get to November, and here I am. I had some great people to lean on (if you're reading this, I'm probably talking about you), some fun times (football, parties ranging from gaming to Halloween, lunches and more lunches), and I even got a new car :) In the end, I am ready to start working less and enjoying life more.