It's becoming real.

Monday I made the trip to Dallas to find a home. I have been waiting for the time that was optimal for getting an apartment when I needed one- except for my move to graduate school, most of my moves were of more immediate need- and on Monday I didn't have class or a social event so the stars were aligned.

Driving to Dallas had a new feel to it. The last time I made this trip was for my interview. On that day I was tired and unfocused, and I paid just enough attention to my surroundings to get to my motel room and then my interview. On this drive, I approached the city as someone ready to soak in her new home. I watched for the major highways and landmarks, thinking about how I would get to neighboring cities and to events in town. I tried to get a feel for the city- did it feel like a place I would grow to love?

The apartment search itself did not go as planned. The complex I had selected had pet restrictions that my precious Jenny did not meet. Fortunately, the office staff was eager to suggest other complexes in the area (owned by their parent agency) within my budget that were more accepting of big-boned canines. I immediately went after the one that was most affordable. Even though it was four miles away, I realized I was a stranger to this city, and I examined my surroundings carefully to see if this was an area I felt comfortable in, had favorable amenities... could be home. The drive went well and I didn't see any warning signs. The complex itself felt good to me too, so I took a chance that this would be a suitable place to live for the next year.

So now I have an address in Dallas, and it has made everything feel real. To add to it, I saw today that my current home is no longer advertised online as for rent. So, ready or not, I have to move on the weekend of July 16th. Classes done, dissertation as far as I can get it, house packed.

In 38 days I will live in Dallas, and in 54 days I will be a predoctoral intern. Whoa.

My new home (took a quick snap of the building, didn't figure out which apartment)

Saying goodbye?

In 41 days I leave this city. The goodbyes, I think, have begun. But have they? In this transitional period I am constantly reflecting on my friendships that I have made over the last four years. I have been fortunate enough to attend two beautiful weddings, and, as with every summer, so come the pool parties, movie nights, and other social events. With each one, I am looking around at the people I see and wondering what will come of the future.

Graduate school is, by its nature, transient. We all move to this small city knowing that in four or so years we will leave it again. We come not knowing anyone, yet we leave with special friendships. Unfortunately, we can't take those people with us to our new homes when we graduate and move on with life. It's what I call the necessary evil of this process.

My first event of the summer has now happened with people who wished me well with the next phase of my life; later this week, I say farewell to two other friends who are leaving for their own journey. I imagine the next 41 days will continue on this way until I drive away from this home and to my new one. Many of you reading this will say farewell to me during this time. So to you, and the others, I will be wondering-

What kind of goodbye is this?

Were you my friend on this stop on the journey, fading away over time?

Or,

Are you my friend for the whole journey, no matter where our paths take us?

Whatever the outcome, I thank my friends for the support, the fun, and the love. Every person made a difference to me.