Week 8- Building Rapport

In psychology, building rapport is the term for getting to know your client and establish the therapeutic relationship.  It's not just about talking and becoming friends- it's about establishing trust so you can accomplish the goals of counseling.  While I wear many hats in my internship, counseling is a large part of it.

In the work I do with children, building rapport is the most critical, and in this first month of school it is obviously a major focus.  I am sent to work with children that someone- teachers, parents, principals- is concerned about.  The child has never met me, and may or may not agree that there is a problem.  I have to, in those first meetings, convince the child to not only like me, but trust me enough to tell me about feelings and situations that they share with few people, or maybe have hidden from everyone.  I use the term "child" loosely- I spend a great deal of time with young adolescents, who more even more resistant.  While younger children are more willing to go along with what parents or teachers ask, adolescents are often angry (or at the minimum annoyed) that they are being forced to see a psychologist.  Add to all of this the trauma that many of them have been to.  I work in a poverty-stricken area of the city and am working with children

Over this last month I have slowly built up a group of students both in my schools and my counseling clinic, and that first meeting has been critical.  I've been really happy with how everything has gone.  I've always felt like building relationships with children is one of my biggest strengths, first as a teacher and now as a school psychologist.  I don't know what I do or how I do it- I just smile and show them acceptance, I guess.  I always have given the credit to my mother and her amazing ability to connect with children.  I think it runs in the family :)  My kids have been so open with me that it sometimes blows me away.  Children who have just met me are telling me things I can't imagine telling a stranger.  Some have cried as they have told me their stories and their pain.  None have refused to speak to me, and from what I can tell all have been honest.  All have been open to seeing me (even if they are not sure they need to), and some even are enthusiastic about our weekly visits.  It has been very humbling to know that young people are putting their trust in you, and in turn, with the rapport successfully building, I now have to task to make their lives better.

I will end with the story that inspired this week's reflection. I had an initial counseling session with a young adolescent, and she quickly opened up to me about many feelings that she had been holding inside.  As we left the room, she looked at me and said, "I already feel like things are better now."  I was touched not only by her ability to trust me so quickly, but by how her faith that our work together was going help her.  I hope I am able to give her what she needs.

It was a good week.  Next week I will delay my post because I will be visiting family in Oklahoma.  I can't wait to see my mom, grandma, cousins, and their precious baby!

Week 7: Finding Myself

First of all, I took at look at my views for my posts. I actually never have, but with the redesign of Blogger it was easier. Two notes: I have a lot more readers than I realized. Thank you to everyone who has followed my journey. On the other hand, barely anyone read last week. I posted on Sunday, aka September 11th, and I think it got lost in the other posts about that day. So if you missed it, you are welcome to go back and catch up.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog. It was a long week, but definitely interesting. My usually scheduled workload, with a training workshop (where I was assisting, not attending) and a crisis (the first one I've worked at) thrown in. It was an interesting mix of work, because at my schools I really feel that I have grown into my job and am feeling more empowered, while at the same time I played second banana, if you will, in areas that were new experiences. I was thankful for my sidekick status when it came up, because I still have so much to learn this year.

In other news, I found ways to focus on myself and not just work. Since I moved here I found a home away from home, the First Unitarian Church of Dallas, and on Monday I got up the nerves to join the Kindred Voices choir. It was a wonderful evening- although I am a bit out of practice, and the choir was more demanding than I expected, it was invigorating and inspiring hour, and the members are fun and welcoming. 

Around the same time, I decided I needed some more rejuvenation, and spent Saturday morning changing up my hair. It's superficial, but I was rushing from location to location and ignoring myself, and spending the time on my appearance has made me feel so much better. While it's so easy to throw yourself together in the morning and rush to work, I am looking forward to doing it with more confidence.

 Speaking of rushing around (and confidence), all of this craziness, combined with bringing lunches and having light dinners (mostly due to just being tired and not having a big appetite) has led to something that I suspected could be going on but was confirmed today- I am losing weight! I'm not sure I recommend what I call the Internship Diet, because I do need to eat more at night, but at the same time I am proud of myself for not running to drive thrus after work and keeping my vices to things I can mostly keep healthy (thank you, Pinkberry). I went shopping today and bought food that would help me keep up the positive habits I am falling into while ensuring I have good options when I am tired after work. I think this is the largest amount of weight I have ever lost in one span and I really want to keep up the momentum.

Next week I get lots of time with friends, and I am excited. Besides choir practice, there is a game night and potluck with the church's young adults over the weekend. In addition, I am joining two of my favorite friends from undergrad at a concert Thursday, and a new group of friends at another concert Saturday. I am gaining a good balance between work and fun- I just hope it's the right balance! :)

One final element to wrap this all up. While I am finding myself in all of this, I hope that soon people begin to find me. As my close friends and family know, I can come across in different ways depending on my comfort level and the situation, and it seems that while I am not particularly in my shell, most people don't know the "real me" yet. This came to my attention Friday, in a conversation with my fellow interns, when I referred to my personality and implied that it was silly or hyper and I got a very strange look. They haven't seen so much of who I am yet- neither have most of my new friends in town. I, of course, probably don't know them yet either. I look forward to what comes next, and surprising them with who I am :)

Week 6: Finding My Way

I've had a hard time deciding what to write about this week. There are many small issues on my mind, but none that seem involved enough to write about on their own. I am becoming busier, with 2-3 students at every school, enough for me to have time to learn about these new cases and take time with them. It's good, at the beginning, not to feel rushed, and particularly so as a newbie. I am discovering the positive energy of working with parents and colleagues who know what you can do for children and believe you can make a difference; I am also learning the frustration of being rejected, mostly by parents who don't understand (or won't accept) their child's needs. I am still finding my place- I've always said I'll work anywhere as long as there are two chairs, but I've even had to adjust that temporarily. Hopefully this was the only week I end up in that situation. Overall, though, all is well. There are still things to be sorted out, but I am getting the hang of the position, and I have great support around me. I will find my way :)

Week 5- Finding My Place

The second week of school brings a sense of familiarity, but I am still finding my way, in many senses of the word. In the first week the schools have had time to identify children who have emotional or behavioral needs, so in the second week I was able to work with children and teachers for the first time. The caseload was slow- one school had only one child for me to work with so I spent a whole morning on his case- but it was productive. I am getting a feel for the population that I will be serving, but I will save that for a later week when I have more of an understanding of it (it is clear that I am not in suburbia anymore....). There are a lot of challenges, but I see the rewards and am excited about what is to come. I know that next week there are a lot more referrals coming and I will be very busy meeting new kids and seeing how I can made a difference.

As to the other aspect of finding my place... well, I was always told that school psychologists work anywhere. At my first school I was looking for a room to play a game with a kindergartener, and the counselor and I looked for the custodian. We first were going to use his office, but then realized there was an unused lounge/conference room two doors down from my student's classroom. It was the perfect solution, because it was bare and my child needed NO distractions! At a middle school I have twice needed private space. Once I have ended up in the library, which has been renovated and so boxes are being moved and unpacked. This week I was offered a teacher's lounge, which as it turns out is currently filled with about 5 classroom chairs, a student desk, and some cans of paint. It also has a faculty restroom, so as I am talking to students we can be interrupted at any time. May I someday soon have permanent spaces at my schools, partially so that my kids know where to find me, and partially so we can have some privacy!

Finally, I am still finding my place in Dallas, getting to know people and making friends. I am at the point where I sometimes feel that I am still on the outside peeking in when it comes to the social circles around me. It's hard being the new girl, and I've never been skilled at breaking in. I am trying to be myself, be proactive, and be patient. I am surrounded by good people.

It is a lovely three day weekend. Time to get off the couch and enjoy this reward for getting through a month of internship!