On Wednesday I had orientation for internship- learned about health insurance, benefits, paychecks, and my email account. On Monday I begin internship- a couple weeks of trainings, site visits, meetings, and preparation for a full year of helping children in the schools. In just over two days, the adventure I have been preparing for will begin.
Internship has been set up to feel like a real job, and except for the level of supervision it is one. I attended an orientation with other district employees and am receiving the same benefits. The pay, while not what I would make with my degree, is livable. My hours are the same as everyone else in my department. What does this mean? I have grown up...again.
Ten years ago (plus a week) I began my first full time job, stepping into the cafeteria of an elementary school to meet my coworkers and learn about life as a teacher. I had worked previously, but that day was when I remember settling into adulthood and the responsibility of my career. It was very overwhelming, but fulfilling. I spent six years as a teacher before deciding I needed to move on. Enrolling in graduate school was a step forward and a step backward. It was a step forward toward my career goals, but in becoming a student and doing part-time work I also moved backward. The pay and benefits changed, as did the strict hours, dress code, and way of life. For four years, life has been on a detour. Though I was getting older, I was spending time with younger peers and living a lifestyle that didn't match the one I had left.
So as I look forward to Monday and internship, in a way I feel like I am back on the path I was on before. In another way though, it's like I'm back in 2001, and I'm the new college graduate ready to show up to her brand new job in her new clothes. It's an odd feeling to have at nearly 33 years old. To have not worked professionally in four years is definitely an adjustment, but it's one that I'm definitely ready for. It's where I have been trained to be, and where I need to be.
Lisa's career, take 2...
Friday, July 29, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Identity
Another thing that has been on my mind is my identity in this new situation. I'm trying to figure out what it is- I know what it is, it's that I can't explain it clearly to others. Let me explain.
First is a smaller issue that came up at church today. I am a Unitarian Universalist, a progressive faith that many do not find, as was my case, until adulthood. So often when people come to a UU church for the first time, it is their first encounter with any UU church. It's not like walking into a Baptist church- even if you have never been to a Baptist church, it's pretty unlikely you need someone to explain to you what Baptists are or what will happen during service. Someone new to a UU church may have UU friends, or have done some reading, but will be looking for guidance. So today, when I made my first trip to the First Unitarian Church of Dallas, I wasn't sure what to call myself, and kept clarifying things. Because when people asked me, "Are you a visitor?" I didn't want to say yes. I was a visitor who was also one of them and hoped to make this place a home, not just someone seeing what this strange faith was about. I was glad I did give the "Yes, but..." answer, because I think I was more quickly embraced. Instead of getting a sales pitch for UUism, I was told how special this community was and how much I would love it here. So, I'm not really a visitor, not a member... but I'm happy to have found a place to spend time in.
The more pressing identity issue, though, has to do with my status as an intern. When I am asked why I moved to Dallas, the short answer I am giving is "for work". But if conversations get more detailed, I realize I'm in a unique situation. I came here because I finished school at A&M. Did I graduate? Well...not yet, but almost. Most people have some concept of internships but they need more explanation and have questions about my specific situation. If I ignore the internship part and say I came here to work for the schools, they assume I'm a teacher, so then I have to fill in the gaps that way. Ultimately, we get to the point where I say I do school psychology. As any of my friends can attest, that brings its other set of misunderstandings, mainly "oh, you're a counselor!"... and then I explain what I do and don't do. When it comes down to it, I know what I am by title- I'm a pre-doctoral intern. But am I still a student? I don't feel like one since I'm not taking classes or am anywhere near my campus, but I still pay tuition and can claim it for discounts. Am I out in the working world? Well, I kind of feel like one since I will have a normal working schedule, and I'll get paychecks, but I'll have a lot more supervision and training than I will when I really do work.
Hopefully once I get into everything here, have settled in to both work and life, my identity will feel more comfortable and I don't have to clarify everything I tell people. It's just part of the process that will take some time.
First is a smaller issue that came up at church today. I am a Unitarian Universalist, a progressive faith that many do not find, as was my case, until adulthood. So often when people come to a UU church for the first time, it is their first encounter with any UU church. It's not like walking into a Baptist church- even if you have never been to a Baptist church, it's pretty unlikely you need someone to explain to you what Baptists are or what will happen during service. Someone new to a UU church may have UU friends, or have done some reading, but will be looking for guidance. So today, when I made my first trip to the First Unitarian Church of Dallas, I wasn't sure what to call myself, and kept clarifying things. Because when people asked me, "Are you a visitor?" I didn't want to say yes. I was a visitor who was also one of them and hoped to make this place a home, not just someone seeing what this strange faith was about. I was glad I did give the "Yes, but..." answer, because I think I was more quickly embraced. Instead of getting a sales pitch for UUism, I was told how special this community was and how much I would love it here. So, I'm not really a visitor, not a member... but I'm happy to have found a place to spend time in.
The more pressing identity issue, though, has to do with my status as an intern. When I am asked why I moved to Dallas, the short answer I am giving is "for work". But if conversations get more detailed, I realize I'm in a unique situation. I came here because I finished school at A&M. Did I graduate? Well...not yet, but almost. Most people have some concept of internships but they need more explanation and have questions about my specific situation. If I ignore the internship part and say I came here to work for the schools, they assume I'm a teacher, so then I have to fill in the gaps that way. Ultimately, we get to the point where I say I do school psychology. As any of my friends can attest, that brings its other set of misunderstandings, mainly "oh, you're a counselor!"... and then I explain what I do and don't do. When it comes down to it, I know what I am by title- I'm a pre-doctoral intern. But am I still a student? I don't feel like one since I'm not taking classes or am anywhere near my campus, but I still pay tuition and can claim it for discounts. Am I out in the working world? Well, I kind of feel like one since I will have a normal working schedule, and I'll get paychecks, but I'll have a lot more supervision and training than I will when I really do work.
Hopefully once I get into everything here, have settled in to both work and life, my identity will feel more comfortable and I don't have to clarify everything I tell people. It's just part of the process that will take some time.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The transition
Well, since my last post I have moved to Dallas. There is so much to say that it's hard to contain it in one entry. So I will try to summarize it as best I can.
I finished all of my goodbyes and see you soons (as my grandma would call them). I had interesting talks with the professors who I work the closest with: one made sure I would keep in touch, one told me how proud she was of my journey (while reminding me to finish my dissertation), and one gave me tips on the upcoming job search. I had lunches and dinners, finished packing... okay, so I kinda finished packing, and then my friends came over Friday to load up the U-Haul. Friday evening made me realize that a) I way underestimated my readiness to load the truck, b) grad school has only intensified my chaotic treatment of my house, and c) I have very good friends who did an amazing job of helping me get the job done. Saturday morning my friend and I hit the road early and met my recently transplanted Texas branch of the family to unload and move me in.
So, I've now been here eight days, and each day I learn more and try to process this new experience. I love being in a big city, the convenience and quantity and quality of anything I could want. In the first few days, I was astounded at how many stores were so close that helped me complete my move-in shopping needs. As I am more settled, I am learning about restaurants of every type, museums, natural settings (I have already been to the aquarium, next up will be the zoo and arboretum), the arts, and so many ways to keep myself entertained. I am trying to do what I can before internship starts, and then I will go slower, hoping to see all I can while I am here. I am also learning the cultural aspects of Dallas. This city is known for being classic Texas- big hair, money, status. Where I live, there is diversity, and I am thankful that I am rarely being exposed to the Dallas stereotype. My friends, however, who are doing more exploring of restaurants and live close but in a slightly nicer area, have already noticed "uniforms" based on the occasion and cost of dinner. As the year goes on, I hope to better understand this city and where I want to spend more time based on what fits my personality and where I might find people like me.
In all of my excitement and adventure, I am aware of what I have left behind. I see the online posts about what my friends are doing, and it feels odd to not be part. I read about upcoming events at church, see emails about my program, and am trying to detach myself. I don't expect anyone's lives to stop because I am gone, but it will take time to read about game nights, dinners out, or anything else and not be sad that I am no longer part of the group. I am trying to figure out how to deal with the transition- how close do we keep in touch, do I start pulling away to make this easier, do I work harder? I suppose once I start working a natural path will work itself out.
The good news is I have a place to start here. I have a couple friends who also moved to this area who I have leaned on so far. I have friends from college, from many years ago, who I am hoping to reconnect with. And in just a little while I will try a new church, a place where I hope to find a new community that will support me as my last church did. I'm off to a good start, and I have one more week to enjoy the exploration, transition, and reflection of these moments before I am thrown headfirst into internship. It's a great time.
I finished all of my goodbyes and see you soons (as my grandma would call them). I had interesting talks with the professors who I work the closest with: one made sure I would keep in touch, one told me how proud she was of my journey (while reminding me to finish my dissertation), and one gave me tips on the upcoming job search. I had lunches and dinners, finished packing... okay, so I kinda finished packing, and then my friends came over Friday to load up the U-Haul. Friday evening made me realize that a) I way underestimated my readiness to load the truck, b) grad school has only intensified my chaotic treatment of my house, and c) I have very good friends who did an amazing job of helping me get the job done. Saturday morning my friend and I hit the road early and met my recently transplanted Texas branch of the family to unload and move me in.
So, I've now been here eight days, and each day I learn more and try to process this new experience. I love being in a big city, the convenience and quantity and quality of anything I could want. In the first few days, I was astounded at how many stores were so close that helped me complete my move-in shopping needs. As I am more settled, I am learning about restaurants of every type, museums, natural settings (I have already been to the aquarium, next up will be the zoo and arboretum), the arts, and so many ways to keep myself entertained. I am trying to do what I can before internship starts, and then I will go slower, hoping to see all I can while I am here. I am also learning the cultural aspects of Dallas. This city is known for being classic Texas- big hair, money, status. Where I live, there is diversity, and I am thankful that I am rarely being exposed to the Dallas stereotype. My friends, however, who are doing more exploring of restaurants and live close but in a slightly nicer area, have already noticed "uniforms" based on the occasion and cost of dinner. As the year goes on, I hope to better understand this city and where I want to spend more time based on what fits my personality and where I might find people like me.
In all of my excitement and adventure, I am aware of what I have left behind. I see the online posts about what my friends are doing, and it feels odd to not be part. I read about upcoming events at church, see emails about my program, and am trying to detach myself. I don't expect anyone's lives to stop because I am gone, but it will take time to read about game nights, dinners out, or anything else and not be sad that I am no longer part of the group. I am trying to figure out how to deal with the transition- how close do we keep in touch, do I start pulling away to make this easier, do I work harder? I suppose once I start working a natural path will work itself out.
The good news is I have a place to start here. I have a couple friends who also moved to this area who I have leaned on so far. I have friends from college, from many years ago, who I am hoping to reconnect with. And in just a little while I will try a new church, a place where I hope to find a new community that will support me as my last church did. I'm off to a good start, and I have one more week to enjoy the exploration, transition, and reflection of these moments before I am thrown headfirst into internship. It's a great time.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
There's no place like home...
I am full into the pre-move adventure. I have said goodbye for now to many people. Some of them it is goodbye until my next visit to town, or one visit in the future, or even a visit they will make to Dallas. They are not likely to be goodbye forever, but they are still unknown. There is the promise of keeping in touch, of course. Still, it is sad to leave so many wonderful people who have supported me on this journey. With each lunch, dinner, hug, wish of luck, I become more emotional about the departure. Today my parents visited to help me with some projects, and as we drove through town I began to look at landmarks that have shaped my time here- schools that I helped, the clinic where I learned child therapy, restaurants where I spent time with friends, and so on. As we stopped in our favorite store to look one more time at Aggie merchandise, one new shirt caught my eye and became my last symbol of my love for my school and my home for the last four years (and nearly 8 years of my life). As it says on the bottom, there's no place like home.
(picture gone from website.. oh well!)
(picture gone from website.. oh well!)
Tomorrow I will spend one last Sunday with my church community who has been my home away from school, and I hope I am able to share my appreciation with as many of them as possible for all they have done for me. Over the next week, I will finish packing, complete coursework, finish my job, and make dissertation progress. And, of course, there will be the last of the goodbye-for-nows. I am excited about what is to come, and have started making plans for my time post-move, but for now I am swept up in the emotion of the end of this journey. I just hope that, in this last week, I am able to treasure every moment with so many wonderful people.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Disney to Dallas!
Last week I went on a wonderful vacation with my family. My mom, grandma, cousin Nancy, and I spent 7 days at Walt Disney World, following my mom's carefully planned agenda nearly to perfection (thank you, storm, for ruining my chance to see Fantasmic). While I have been to Disneyland in California a couple dozen times (no exaggeration) since I was a baby, it does not compare to a week living entirely within the Disney property, a bubble where everything is accessible by bus or monorail and everyone smiles, waves, and high-fives you (often wearing a Mickey Mouse glove) and tells you to "have a magical day". Many people don't understand why we chose to spend a week just at Disney parks when there are other things to do in the area, but they aren't my family. Disney has been part of my family since my mom was a child and her family collected ride tickets before there was one ticket for admission. So many stories, jokes, and memories in my life revolve around Disneyana in a way that made me sure that we could spend a week there with no problem. Sure enough, it was a fun time, full of laughs, thrills, and happiness. The parks were as fascinating as I had hoped, and sharing them with my family made them that much better. It was so hard to leave the last day, and it was even harder to leave my family and come home. I have posted my best pictures elsewhere, but below are a couple in case anyone hasn't seen them yet.
The globe from my favorite show, IllumiNations, on the lake at Epcot
Mickey and Minnie in front of Cinderella's castle at the Magic Kingdom
My family in front of the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom- me, Mom, Nancy, and Grandma
I returned from Florida Sunday, and home Monday. After a busy workweek, I have finally turned my focus on the move. After some discussion, delays, and kerfuffle (my word of June, stolen from a friend), I have reserved a truck, recruited friends to help me load, found a friend to drive the truck, recruited family to unload the truck, and am finally sorting things so I can pack. In a month I will be working, and in two weeks I will be moving. I have two homework assignments, one test, one report revision, and one report translation until my coursework is complete. (We won't discuss the dissertation today.) I have started my goodbye lunches and am planning other gatherings. I am selling my extra furniture.
I am both excited and panicking.
I suppose that's why I'm awake. The panicking part, mostly. It's all overwhelming, sometimes. I haven't moved to a completely new city since I was in the Peace Corps 11 years ago, though I suppose I've at least visited this one. I have to work right up until the move, so I'm trying to balance everything. It's a good overwhelming- it's a new adventure, and I'm ready for it. I just hope the next two weeks all work as planned so that I start that adventure on the right foot!
Life was easier at Disney World :)
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