Identity

Another thing that has been on my mind is my identity in this new situation. I'm trying to figure out what it is- I know what it is, it's that I can't explain it clearly to others. Let me explain.

First is a smaller issue that came up at church today. I am a Unitarian Universalist, a progressive faith that many do not find, as was my case, until adulthood. So often when people come to a UU church for the first time, it is their first encounter with any UU church. It's not like walking into a Baptist church- even if you have never been to a Baptist church, it's pretty unlikely you need someone to explain to you what Baptists are or what will happen during service. Someone new to a UU church may have UU friends, or have done some reading, but will be looking for guidance. So today, when I made my first trip to the First Unitarian Church of Dallas, I wasn't sure what to call myself, and kept clarifying things. Because when people asked me, "Are you a visitor?" I didn't want to say yes. I was a visitor who was also one of them and hoped to make this place a home, not just someone seeing what this strange faith was about. I was glad I did give the "Yes, but..." answer, because I think I was more quickly embraced. Instead of getting a sales pitch for UUism, I was told how special this community was and how much I would love it here. So, I'm not really a visitor, not a member... but I'm happy to have found a place to spend time in.

The more pressing identity issue, though, has to do with my status as an intern. When I am asked why I moved to Dallas, the short answer I am giving is "for work". But if conversations get more detailed, I realize I'm in a unique situation. I came here because I finished school at A&M. Did I graduate? Well...not yet, but almost. Most people have some concept of internships but they need more explanation and have questions about my specific situation. If I ignore the internship part and say I came here to work for the schools, they assume I'm a teacher, so then I have to fill in the gaps that way. Ultimately, we get to the point where I say I do school psychology. As any of my friends can attest, that brings its other set of misunderstandings, mainly "oh, you're a counselor!"... and then I explain what I do and don't do. When it comes down to it, I know what I am by title- I'm a pre-doctoral intern. But am I still a student? I don't feel like one since I'm not taking classes or am anywhere near my campus, but I still pay tuition and can claim it for discounts. Am I out in the working world? Well, I kind of feel like one since I will have a normal working schedule, and I'll get paychecks, but I'll have a lot more supervision and training than I will when I really do work.

Hopefully once I get into everything here, have settled in to both work and life, my identity will feel more comfortable and I don't have to clarify everything I tell people. It's just part of the process that will take some time.