Past, present, and future

Life is back to normal now, I think. I've been to the clinic to wrap up my job that ended while I was away. I met with my advisor and planned my summer of dissertation writing. I have paid bills and made phone calls and dealt with "things".

I've also talked about Mexico. When people see me first I hear about my new tan, and then they ask how the trip was. And I don't know how to answer, besides to smile and say "amazing" or "awesome". I really want to say "see my blog and photo album, or give me an hour to talk". Because it wasn't just a trip, and it can't be described so quickly. Yesterday I went to Dr. McCormick's office to bring her my pictures, and we started looking at them, and talking and laughing, and the light that I felt inside was so strong. We talked about places, and people, and little stories that haven't made it into blogs or pictures quite yet, but are what make events like these so special. It was good for my soul.

This is a confusing place to be, living in the present but not really in the present. Much of what I have to do now is focused on the past (wrapping up work from the spring) and some are focused on the present (writing my dissertation proposal, planning for the class I am teaching in July). Meanwhile, I am still wanting to live in the memories of my trip. Plus, in five days I am traveling to California- that trip is both the past and future at once, as I am going as a result of my uncle's death last month. I'm just trying to go with the flow, do what feels right, and ride the wave. Eventually it'll all make sense.