1. I will not be following through with NaNoWriMo this year. I love the concept, but I wasn't feeling well a couple days, and then I just didn't want to rush to get back into it. I love writing, and want to finish what I started, but I'm too controlling with my work to just write feverishly to meet the goal. I want to get to know the character I created on day one, figure out where she's going and why. Hopefully this will be the year I finally write my novel. I've been wanting to write one ever since I was a child, and the story I have started would give a new voice to the children I work with. Wish me luck.
2. I spent half of my week in workshops, away from my kids. It was strange being away from them, and I missed my work a lot. At the same time, I was part of many conversations about my "old" interest topics- my passions that don't always fit well with my internship. School improvement, systems change, educational interventions. It made me think a lot about where I want my career to go- do I want to focus on mental health, move back toward an educational focus, or do it all. I suppose I can't be especially picky at entry-level, and I don't start looking for jobs until spring, but it was good to be faced with some of my other career interests and reflect. In the end, though, I just love helping kids and making their lives better, and it was so nice to be back at work.
3. I chopped off a bunch of hair :) I'd been deliberating it for weeks, and I'm so glad I went through with it. I realized that I am very conservative in this area of my life- the fact that I suddenly have clearly unnatural blonde highlights around my face is still taking some adjusting- but I am trying to let go and enjoy it.
4. Actually, this one could have been third, but it's the most in process one. I'm exploring vegetarianism. It's an idea that's been in my head off and on for years- I love animals, and I am not thrilled by the idea of eating them. Meat is everywhere, though, and it's culturally what we do, and it sure is delicious. I've never been able to eat meat that still is in its original form- can't eat raw crawfish, or pick a lobster out of a tank, or eat anything that's staring or smiling at me. Overall, though, I've mostly done okay, though I've never been a huge meat-eater to begin with. The last few weeks, though, I've felt a shift. I read a couple articles, talked to a couple people, and for the first time felt like change was something I might actually commit to at some point. I hadn't made any firm decisions though. It's just easier to follow the status quo, and I'm not one to shake thing up.
On Friday, I went to the store and picked up one of those pre-cooked chickens they sell at the front of the store. I came home, ready to eat. I opened the top, looked at the whole bird, and it all just hit me. I didn't see dinner, I saw the animal, and I became extremely upset. I've never had more of a visceral reaction to food before, and it took me so off guard I didn't know what to do. I told myself that since it was there, I should try to eat it, but pulling the meat off, and then eating it, just felt terrible. I lost my appetite.
A change happened Friday that I didn't expect, and I'm looking into the realities of eliminating meat from my diet. I don't eat much at home anyway, and I think I can easily find foods to eat to replace anything I do eat. I've heard it's best to do it gradually anyway. As for being out, I think it's getting easier to make it work. With the holidays coming up, well, we'll see how it works out. I may not make the full transition right away. I did have some ground beef (in a taco salad) last night, and I was okay eating it, but cooking it felt odd. In the end, this will depend on me, and what I end up finding acceptable. Maybe this is passing, but it didn't feel passing. It felt like a deep shift in my morality, something I've never quite experienced before.
So that is my week...I learned a lot about myself, and am curious what awaits...
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