A little catching up- how's July been, you ask?

I haven't had a lot to say lately that felt blogworthy, so I'm going to try now. To be honest I'm not really in a writing mood, but I'm going to put on some music, focus, and see what I have to say to the world.

The last post, actually, I never advertised. I was in an emotional place, and needed to write it, and needed it out there, but I also knew that it would affect some people, mostly family, deeply so I never shared it on Facebook. But it's there for whoever wants to see it. I don't mind, or I wouldn't have posted it in the first place.

A lot of my time was spent on the dissertation process that I explained already. It became a bit more involved than I expected, but the first section is complete. There is definitely a sense of accomplishment, but it is the part that takes the least work, and there are many months to go.

I have had a few good times with friends- this is summer, after all. A rare event took place, an actual party at my house. It was nice to have people over, and Jenny, once she got over her shyness, loved having a choice of humans who would rub her ears and tummy. I also had a wonderful day trip with a friend, where he showed me some small town Texas treasures, including great chocolate and a famous barn painted in school colors. And I've seen movies, and gone for ice cream and dinner, and chatted, and had lots of good company.

Back to work topics, I am a teacher again! For the second half of summer I am teaching an online course on child development, the same course I took here as an education major. There are many limitations to teaching a course online, especially for someone like me who loves talking and interacting, and there were a few technical issues that made the first week somewhat frustrating. It is exciting though to be in charge of educating students again, and now that things are running smoothly I feel very positive about the success my students are having, and look forward in particular to their final papers and seeing if they can use what they have learned.

Unfortunately, illness has again gotten the best of me, particularly this past week. It is hard enough to be in a position where you feel debilitated- my headaches are not only painful, they make me nauseous and weak. There is also a feeling of losing myself. My usually happy, optimistic, energetic personality gets overshadowed by frustration, sadness, and exhaustion. While I know I tend to the melodramatic in my daily life, illness makes me hypersensitive to the comments I make, and I suddenly become constantly concerned that I am overly complaining or becoming a burden. Each time I am sick I feel like this loss of self becomes exacerbated, because it's more of the same. I want people to care about me and help me, but I don't want them to tire of me and feel like I'm just being dramatic again. I know that my problems are minor compared to those of many others with chronic or severe illnesses, and I try to be hopeful and thankful. At the same time, it is hard to smile and be happy when I've been in pain for days on end, even if other things are going okay. The hardest part is that I still don't have any real answers for what is going on or how to feel better. I'm just trying to deal, and not be too sad about it, and hope the people around me understand.

I guess that's what's going on here. My internet is down at home, so I have been sitting at a coffee shop this afternoon. I think I will get some groceries, put in a couple movies, and rest. Below are two pictures- one from my trip to the Aggie Barn, and one from the dog park earlier today.