Laughing and crying

I am having one of those days when I am really tired of being sick. I made tremendous progress last week, then crashed on my birthday, and am slowly improving again. Today my head hasn't been too bad, but I am weak and nauseous and can't kick either one. And I am having so many successes today- I finally finished client work at my job that I technically ended in May, I saw my much-missed professor and we came up with a wonderful idea for a fall practicum, and I got some enthusiasm for the new school year. But it's so hard to feel excited and get productive when you realize you are sick AGAIN. I can't get my migraine prescription refilled this week because I'm going through the medication too fast, and I have to hope that this week goes well enough that I don't need it. I have a dissertation to work on. I have two days of camp coming up that I am excited about. And I can't stop thinking about my headache, my weak body, and my nausea that won't respond to medication that they give to chemotherapy patients, and I can't stop wondering if this will be better when I need it to be. Some days it doesn't bother me, because I see progress, and some days I just want to cry because I can't shake this and it's still getting in the way. I'm getting better at putting on my happy face- my professor couldn't believe how I actually laughed when I told her about it, but I think I have adopted the laugh or cry attitude. Usually I can do the laughing part, but sometimes I can't. Just one of those days...